This article was first published in the Trinidad Express Newspapers on December 12th 2017
Sir Terry Pratchett, reputedly the foremost satirical writer of the 21st century, knighted by Queen Elizabeth for his contribution to literature, placed many of his hilarious stories in “The Century of the Fruit Bat”. I am not sure when he visited T&T, but he must have at some point, because the characters of some of the leading citizens of Ankh-Morpok, the capital city of his fictitious country on Discworld bear astonishing resemblances to some of our own beloved leaders in T&T. Moist Von Lipwig, for example, a persuasive con man, fraudster and charlatan, an ex-convict who at one time or another became the Head of several Government Financial and essential services is a familiar face. Commander Vimes, the head of the Ankh-Morpok police service, a decent man who struggles with some of the weirdest members of his Force you have ever heard of does his best, but is so overwhelmed by paperwork that he often misses the mark he aims at.
Or maybe you have heard of similar cases? Even Commander Vimes, however, has never had to explain how two uniformed police officers could boldly collect a convicted criminal , Vicky Boodram, from prison in broad daylight flashing fraudlent papers that no one bothered to verify and spirit away the criminal who then vanished into thin air for sufficient hours for her to have caught one of the boats that travel illicitly from Trinidad to Venezuela, and then ignore the boat and get caught eating doubles at a roadside vendor in T&T.
Not even Sir Terry could invent a satire equivalent to that. Her escape will go down in T&T Crime history along with tales of Boysie Singh, Valmond Jones and others of living memory. At least this time there is an attempt at gender balance. Only an ‘attempt’ if we don’t count Booboolups and her “sisters” who still get charged but never cause actual harm to anyone as far as I know. As in Ankh-Morpok, no one ever seems to spend time in prison in T&T for any of the high-level charges of corruption or fraud, except for Vicky Boodram who will probably be in jail for life now, all for the sake of a doubles. The other ones who get ‘caught’ for how they earn a living are “The Sisters of Booboolups” who often come from Columbia or Venezuela.
But we are not alone in this century of the Fruit Bat. In Ireland a police officer who disciplined one of his subordinate officers recently was charged with child sexual abuse. And dismissed from the Police service by the Deputy Prime Minister and the Commissioner of Police. Then it turned out that the charges in the “offender’s” file had been cut and pasted from a real serial offender’s file and the ‘child victim’ was the daughter of the officer who had been disciplined by the alleged perpetrator. “Ooops!” they said. “It was a mistake!”
Yeah. Right.
The Deputy Prime Minister of Ireland had to resign yesterday, and I leave you to Google what happened to the person who cut and pasted the script from one file to another. Never happen here, of course, the punishment, I mean. Not in the Century of the Fruit Bat.
That Vicky Boodram was arrested at all is a miracle. After all, she only had 175 charges of fraud against her.
And in T&T, the Judiciary, the last institution for which the entire country still has…had…respect is now under fire. Not here alone, though. In Spain, people are rioting over the Judgement given in a gang rape case. It was in Pamplona, during the running of the Bulls…their equivalent of our Carnival. An 18 year old student was gang raped by five men. The Judge did not allow in evidence the email exchanges the men had sent each other planning to purchase date rape drugs and rope so that they could: “rape everything in sight”. He did, however allow a private detective’s report into the 18 year-old’s previous personal life which would not have been allowed in other European jurisdictions. It was read out in court until the defence withdrew it, after the judge had allowed it to be read.
And yes. They had all been drinking. The men videoed the incident which they described as ‘fun’ and promised to send it to their friends. The video showed that the petrified girl just stood there, frozen, pushed up against a wall with the five men attacking her. They said it was ‘consensual’. But that would never go to court here, in the Century of the Fruit Bat. Would it? Or would it?
The Judgement in that case is being awaited throughout Europe.
